Back in the Saddle

{DOORS OPENING}

To quote from the incomparable troupe that is Monty Python:

“I’m not quite dead yet!”

Yes, it’s been a long time. To be honest, I’ve found little to write about. Every time I think there’s something, there isn’t. Every time I think I have something, I’ve mentioned it before and didn’t want to re-hash my story and simply alter the names to protect the innocent (suck it, Dragnet!). But I have been keeping track of my regulars, and I thought I would share that with you. I promise I’ll have more insightful stuff about our plague-ridden metro system next time.

{PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS.}

So let’s the one’s we’ve met before out of the way:

“The Punisher”

I’ve seen him with more and more frequency, though there was one instance I saw him without his distinctive cap. I almost didn’t recognize him, but I caught the glint of his Spencers-bought array of whimsical and very amusing buttons, of which I’m sure are great conversation-starters (by the way, slap a think coating of sarcasm on that last sentence). I think he rotates them out every once in a while. I haven’t seen the “Fear Me” one in quite some time. Maybe someone took him to task on that statement? That would explain why I didn’t see him with the cap the last time I saw him. He got off the bus at Herndon-Monroe and, I kid you not, sat down in the bus shelter and began feverishly erasing and re-writing on a piece of paper. A quick glance gave me a hint as to where he might have lost the bet, and his cap. He appeared to be re-working statistics on an old paper-and-dice role playing game character sheet. Fear him indeed, for if he can’t beat you, he’ll change his Mace of Impotence into a Mace of Might +1 (it is enchanted with the power of Enzyte).

“Grumbles”

Yep, she’s still around and up to her same old shtick. Only now I’ve noticed that she also disembarks and boards at the Foggy Bottom station. The really odd thing is that I don’t hear her pulmonary calling card when she’s at the station. Just at the bus stop. Maybe her cigarettes lose their big-country flavor and/or effect when crossing state lines? Perhaps if she let The Punisher take a crack at her Marlboros, they’ll become more potent.

“Panic Runner”

Yup, he’s back. I hadn’t seen him for months, often mistaking him for one-timer copycats. He made his reappearance a few weeks ago blazing past me at Mach 2, bag, briefcase, and trench coat in hand, and a newspaper in the other, shielding him from the mighty drops of drizzle that would melt him. Surely the Washington Post can repel water than the coat tucked under his arm!

Let’s meet the new class member of 2007

“Tazz”

Before you get the wrong idea, search for the wrestler who goes by the name of Tazz, not the cartoon. See the photo? Okay. I’ve seen him pretty much every day since February, from Herndon-Monroe all the way into the city. And yes, he looks exactly like him, only he’s six feet tall and has about 50 lbs over the wrestler. But you’ll never hear me tell him that (either the Regular or the wrestler, for that matter). He seems to have a wireless connection on his mini-pc organizer, as I’ve seen him scan a few Web pages in between games of Solitaire and Break-Out. He has this habit of looking me in the eye when doing so, as if he’s wondering if he’s seen me before. At least I hope that’s what it is, and not comparing my likeness to the FBI’s Most Wanted List on the Web. Not I have anything to hide…

{STAND BACK! DOORS ARE CLOSING}